28 REASONS TO NEVER VISIT PORT ELIZABETH

Photographic evidence of why you should NEVER visit the city of Port Elizabeth. Can you handle the sarcasm?

1. THE CITY IS THE ARMPIT OF SOUTH AFRICA…

Port Elizabeth Skyline. Source: Wright Photographic

2. DEFINITELY NOT PICTURESQUE…

Arial view of Port Elizabeth

3. THE CITY HAS NO HERITAGE WHAT SO EVER…

Donkin Heritage Reserve. Source: Friendly City of Port Elizabeth

4. ALSO…THAT MOSAIC PATH IS PRETTY AVERAGE…CLEARLY NO ARTISTIC TALENT IN THE CITY

Mosaic path at Donkin heritage reserve. Source: Fine Art America

5. YOU HAVE NO WISH TO HANG OUT WITH ADORABLE LION AND TIGER CUBS…

…and a bulldog at Seaview Lion Park. source: Daily Mail UK

6. PLUS, YOU CAN’T STAND LION KISSES…EUGH

Lion cub kisses.

Seaview Lion Park. Source: Phil Walter

7.THE BEACHES ARE COMPLETELY OVER-CROWED…YOU CAN NEVER GET A SPOT TO YOURSELF…

Sardinia bay beach. Source: Travelstart / Andrew Barton

8.MEH…

Pollock Beach. Source: Radisson Blu Port Elizabeth

9.THE ACCOMMODATION IS REALLY CRAPPY…

Thunzi Lodge, Port Elizabeth. Source: Thunzi Blog

Singa Lodge, Port Elizabeth. Source: Lion Roars

10.YOU’D RATHER BE AT HOME THAN HERE…

Accommodation at Addo. Source: Gorah.HunterHotels

11. YOU HATE EXERCISING IN THE BEAUTIFUL OUTDOORS….THE GYM IS WAY BETTER.

Running along Port Elizabeth beachfront walkway. Source: Nightjar Travel

Cycling along the Port Elizabeth coastal roads. Source: Scoopnest /IronmanTri

12. THE SUNRISES ARE NOT WORTH GETTING UP FOR…

Sunrise at the Donkin Reserve. Source: MyPE

13. INCREDIBLE SUNSETS BURN YOUR EYES…

Sunset from Port Elizabeth beachfront. Source: Millers Local

14. NO BIG EVENTS HAPPEN HERE…SUCH A ONE HORSE TOWN!

Ironman South Africa in Port Elizabeth. Source: Travel Ground

Ironman South Africa – start of the swim. Source: John Loos Blogspot

15. YOU CAN’T STAND BEAUTIFUL HISTORIC BUILDINGS….

Public Library in Central, Port Elizabeth. Source: Youth Village

Central suburb of Port Elizabeth. Source: Port Elizabeth Photographic Club

City Hall, Central. Source: Port Elizabeth Daily Photo

16. THE INTERIORS ARE NOTHING TO LOOK AT EITHER…

Feather Market Centre – Indoors. Source:  Nightjar Travel / Chris Marias

17. OLD CHURCHES ARE FOR OLD PEOPLE…NOTHING TO SEE HERE…

Presbyterian Church on the hill. Source: Fine Art America / Ruth Hager

Holy Trinity Church, Central

18. THE PUBLIC PARKS ARE HORRIBLE AND UN-KEPT….

Kings beach public park. Source: Earthworks Landscape Architects

St Georges public park. Source: Firefly

Conservatory in St Georges public park. Source: House and Leisure / Rob Dukes

19. THERE’S NO GOOD VIEWING SPOTS…

Fort Frederick look out point. Source: Nelson Mandela Bay Tourism

20. CRYSTAL CLEAR SWIMMING POOLS AREN’T YOUR THING…

McArthur Baths. Source: Holidays and Kids

21. SURROUNDING MOUNTAINS ARE UN-IMPRESSIVE….

Lady’s Slipper mountain trail. Source: Country Life

Lady’s Slipper (view from Telkom tower) Source: Firefly

22. DOLPHINS FREAK YOU OUT…

Jumping dolphins in front of Shark Rock Pier, with the Boardwalk Hotel in the background. Source: Raggy Charters

23. THE BEACHFRONT PROMENADE SUCKS…

Beachfront promenade at Hobie Beach. Source: Getty Images

Beachfront promenade at Hobie Beach. Source: Pinterest

24. AND DEFINITELY NOT USEABLE AT NIGHT…

Beachfront promenade along Marine Drive

25. WHO WOULD WANT TO WALK HERE?…NOT US…

Beachfront walkway. Source: Travel Snippets

26. YOU HATE VIBEY STREET CAFES…

Vovo Telo Cafe, Richmond Hill. Source: Under our own olive tree

Stanley Street, Richmond Hill. Source: Steve de Beer Promotions

27. THERE’S NOWHERE TO WATCH SPORT…

Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium. Source: Skyscraper City

St Georges crickets grounds. Source: SA Sports Blog

28. THE BIGGEST SOUTH AFRICAN FLAG IN THE WORLD DOESN’T INTEREST YOU….

This flag can be found in the Donkin Reserve. It is 12 meters by 8 meters and has become a prominent part of the PE skyline. Source: Firefly

SO AS YOU CAN SEE, THE CITY OF PORT ELIZABETH REALLY HAS NOTHING TO OFFER…NOTHING AT ALL 😉